Is Anybody Teaching Your Kids and Grandkids To Do Hard Things?

Last night, I watched the movie, Hillbilly Elegy—a 2020 drama film directed by Ron Howard based on JD Vance’s 2016 memoir. I’m not getting political right now; I’m just commenting that it depicts the hard lives, challenging situations, tough choices and hard, life-impacting decisions that some people encounter.

I was wondering if you would agree, life requires us to do hard things? Would you agree we can avoid doing hard things for only so long? Would you agree, always avoiding hard things is unhealthy in the long run?

Do you want your kids & grandkids to be mentally prepared and willing to do hard things?

Do you try to teach your kids & grandkids to do hard things?

It’s easy to forget that we lead by example. And, that more is caught than taught.

BTW…it might be worth thinking about or discussing what are “hard things”?

My “hard things” were clearly not in the same league as those of JD Vance, or perhaps as yours — but that’s not the point. It’s not a competition.

For me, some “hard things” include: putting myself through college; two gut-wrenching divorces; climbing mountains in snow storms in pursuit of mountain goats, elk and mountain lions; a recent African dangerous-game hunt in my 75th year for leopard, lion and Cape buffalo; and (haha) sharing a king size bed with Kenny Klimes while the two of us were guiding on an Altar Fly Fishing Retreat in Minnesota’s Driftless Region.

Obviously, even from my short list, you can surmise that some hard things were thrust upon me and others were the result of a choice I made.

Part of my recent choice to join my son, Nick, on a 14-day dangerous game safari in Zimbabwe was, first of all, that I felt honored that he asked me to join him. Over the years, we have enjoyed many hunts together around the world, and although Nick was primarily pursuing the completion of his lifelong quest for “The Big Five” (referring to the five most dangerous African animals), it was to be my first truly “dangerous game” hunt.

Among my other reasons to join him was my desire to show my grandkids by my example, a willingness to do hard things. And frankly, last but not least, I also wanted to fight what Toby Keith talks about in his song, Don’t Let the Old Man In.

But you don’t have to face charging elephants and hungry leopards in the dark to do hard things. I think good relationships are one of the most challenging, hardest things to accomplish. Unfortunately, many people run from or quit relationships as soon as the going gets tough. Often they ignore what kind of message that sends to the kids and grandkids in their lives.

To give them a different perspective, I actually have gotten some of my teenage grandkids to read the book, Do Hard Things by Alexis & Bret Harris (written by these young men while they were teens).

I think engaging with others, reaching out to those in pain, mentoring, teaching and helping others are all hard things. Heck, nowadays, it’s challenging for some people to even talk to someone face-to-face instead of texting or email. Seems like some people just hide out on Facebook.

I think being open and vulnerable with others is a hard thing. And I think owning my mistakes is a very hard thing.

I think sharing my faith is a hard thing — but I know it’s what God wants me to do.

What do you think?

Seems to me, today’s culture (including many of our schools) says our planet will die soon, so why bother. Today’s culture promotes atheism, entitlement, litigation, self-centeredness and Narcissism. Did you know that in the past few years, roughly five times more people died while taking “selfies” than from shark attacks?   https://www.newsweek.com/selfies-deadlier-shark-attacks-1446363

Kids are great observers, but not very good processors. Do you ever discuss with them this subject of doing hard things? If you don’t discuss it or model it, where do you think they’ll learn to do hard things in today’s culture?

BTW…it’s really not that hard to share your thoughts on the FATC FORUM. I’d love hear your reaction, as well as what else is on your mind.