A BETTER QUESTION…

On January 1, 2025, I wrote to you about a First Things First approach to New Year’s resolutions. I suggested emulating the shooting sequence of READY, AIM, FIRE verses the READY, FIRE, AIM sequence that epitomized my life as a foolish young man. Since then I was blessed with some insights from a recent YOUR MOVE with Andy Stanley Podcast that I’d like to share with you. I’ve found these insights are helping my AIM and perhaps you will also find them beneficial.

The usual question is, “What should I do about me?” Perhaps a better question shifts focus from what should I do about me to what needs to done around me — in my family, community, the world?

That better question is, “What breaks my heart?” Now, please don’t confuse the question by interpreting it as, what irritates or bothers me. If you’re like me, that’s probably a long list of things. I’m talking about something that moves me well beyond being irritated.

The question of what breaks my or your heart should stop us in our tracks. It’s a really bothersome, but important question. But the question that really bothers me is when I consider what, if anything, am I going to do about it?

When I confronted this question, I pictured myself at a crossroads and I had to choose to continue to ignore the question or to take the road clearly less travelled; a road that leads away from my comfort zone, but potentially into a land of purpose and significance.

As I was making this decision, I recalled with tears in my eyes that my greatest regrets were in my “season of me” when I wasn’t doing for others; I was doing to others. On the other hand, the fullest, happiest, most joyful moments came after I trusted in Christ as my Savior and Lord and with his help I started to do for others. Joy and a sense of fulfillment came in the moments where I gave a part of my time, my stuff and my life away.

I found meaning in the paradox that Jesus presents when he said, “Any of you who try to save the life you have will lose it. But you who give up your life will save it” (Luke 9:24).

We save ourselves from ourselves by trying not to be all about ourselves. In retrospect, I see that the moment I stepped out of my comfort zone and started focusing on helping those around me, I was on the right path.

By now, many of you are wondering how I personally answered the big question of what breaks my heart. For me two things quickly came to mind: It breaks my heart when I think of how I want to better show my gratitude to God for all that he has graciously given me. None of which I deserved.

What also breaks my heart is the thought that some of my family and friends may possibly not be spending eternity in heaven with God. As I think about this and make plans, I’m starting to realize that much of my answer can actually help with both of these at the same time. I know what Christ has done to save me and my family and friends. He died so that they could have a relationship with us for all of eternity. The question is what can I do to help my family and friends see and accept his gift of eternal salvation and to trust in Him as Savior and Lord.

I know that I can’t save anyone, but I also know that Christ asked me to participate in the process. In the Great Commission, he asks me and all his followers “to go and make disciples…” (see Matthew 28:16-20). And as recorded in Matthew 4:19, Jesus said, ”Come, follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Your answer to what breaks your heart may look quite different than mine, but I suggest we both embrace the question, and with God’s help, seek to do what we can. We’re probably both going to have set some things aside or leave something behind to work toward our quest. We’ll at least have to leave our comfort zone. And that’s ok, because I’m betting we won’t really miss it — especially if we envision our mission as an adventure and we realize that fear is often a liar. For the health of our soul, we’ll possibly have to accept that we might need to do for one, or a few— what we would like to do for many.

But, if we ignore the tug, we’ll probably miss an opportunity. We may never even know that we missed it—but sadly what we may miss is the opportunity to make a difference in someone’s or some people’s lives.

And as Andy Stanley says, “Here’s why we should fear that, because at the end of your life, you will be celebrated for the difference you made, not the dollars you made. You will be remembered for what you gave not what you saved.” Andy elaborated, “For example, at funerals, (the conversations and the words from the pulpit indicate) the value of a life is measured by how much of it was given away.”

“What breaks my heart,” he said, “is the missed opportunity to leverage that while I still have the opportunity. And that every day that opportunity is slipping away.”

In my previous life, it was as if my life was built on a model of reciprocity. I only had interest in other people if I thought the relationship could benefit me. Everyone else was a means to an end — and I was the end. I don’t want to live that way again. I’ve already experienced that being a means to an end that isn’t me — is a good way to live. It’s a joyful, fulfilling way to live and it leads to a life of significance. Who knows, maybe someday, I’ll even hear those words I long to hear from the One whose words really count. The words I’m referring to are, Well done good and faithful servant.

By the way, the Bible says, “For even the Son of Man (Jesus Christ) did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

So it’s a new year. I’m going to keep getting in shape, living a healthier life, becoming a better fisherman and hunter and then I hope to leverage all that— so that I can be a means to an end that doesn’t end in me. I want to experience life that is truly life. What about you?

So what breaks your heart? Is there more to life than stuff? Feel free to share your thoughts about New Year’s resolutions, what I wrote, and maybe even about what breaks your heart. The first step may just be in acknowledging the emotion and trying to express it in words. To borrow a line from Mel Gibson in the movie The Patriot, “Aim small; miss small.”

By the way, reading this may have made a lot of you uncomfortable. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; wake up calls usually aren’t pleasant. Maybe for the health of your soul you should ask yourself, “What breaks my heart?” As I said earlier, what breaks your heart may not look like what breaks my heart. Your crossroad may look different than mine, but all I can say is I’m not sorry I choose the road less travelled, and I don’t think in the long run you’ll regret it either. Who knows, someday in retrospect, it may turn out to be the real opportunity of a lifetime — the one that brought you a feeling of significance and joy because you were a means to an end that didn’t end in you.

John Muckerman,

FATC Inspiration and Leadership Studies Lead